Is a Little Bit of Doubt Really That Bad?

I do not like to run. It hurts, I can’t breathe, and if I try to run in warm weather, it often produces a migraine. I don’t get the “runner’s high” that I hear so many people speak of. The only “high” I get is the utter relief I feel when it is finally over. And yet, my husband and I have created a family of runners. My husband runs regularly, and our kids often ask to go with him on his weekend runs. Several years ago, we started running in our local marathon. My husband runs the half-marathon, and I will run either a 5k or a 10k. In more recent years, our kids started participating as well. Leave it to me to start a family tradition of something that I absolutely dread doing. Isn’t life funny?

A few years ago, I was not prepared for the 10k. I’ll admit that I don’t keep up with running in the “off season” for all of the reasons (excuses) listed above. I wasn’t prepared, but I had signed up. While everyone around me reminded me that I can just walk some of it, I have a different mindset. I feel as though I shouldn’t sign up for something I can’t do, and it doesn’t feel like a personal success if I have to walk part of a race. Silly, I know.  So, this particular year I was not ready. As I walked to the starting line, I just prayed to God to carry me through this race. I started, and I was doing great.  Better than I thought. I was about halfway through when I realized this isn’t so painful. I had expected to be struggling greatly by this point.  I thought, wow, God really is carrying me through this. And that’s when I did it. I let my mind wander to the places where the devil put questions of true divine intervention. Is God really doing this, or am I going to collapse any second now? Guess what. As soon as I let that doubt have a home in my mind, I got tired. I couldn’t get my breath right anymore. I ached, and I just KNEW I had to start walking. Not only did I end the race disappointed in my performance, but also disappointed in my lack of faith.

That isn’t the only time I’ve done this. I did it a couple weeks ago when I had to have an MRI done. I have a yearly preventative MRI. This year was my second time. I remembered how uncomfortable and claustrophobic I felt the year prior. As the test started, I requested some Christian music be played, and I prayed for God to get me through it. Once again, about halfway through, I realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as the first time. Thank you, God. Or, maybe it’s just because I know what to expect this time. Maybe I just got myself into the right position. Maybe I’m just doing this better this time. I bet you can guess what happened. My arms started hurting, my head was uncomfortable, and oh my, that machine suddenly felt so close. I tried to pray some more, but I had already let those seeds of doubt in. I actually pushed the button and asked to stop the test. The technician assured me that I only had 5 minutes left and, with her reassurance (and still more prayer), I made it through.

Now these are both examples of specific instances where it is clear we needed additional help from the Lord to succeed. That, however, isn’t the only place doubt gets to us, is it? Doubt can weasel into every crevice in our daily lives. When you’ve had a couple of successful days at home, are you just waiting for the disaster to strike?  When you get that well-deserved promotion at work, do you wonder if the spotlight will reveal all of your shortcomings? When you made it through the first trimester of school with healthy kids (does that actually happen), are you bracing yourself for the sneezes to start? Doubt. All of it.

You see what the point is here. Doubt is our enemy. Doubt is the devil dressed up as self-awareness. Doubt, if we allow it to, will ruin the good work God is doing in us.

We are told in Proverbs to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (3:5-6). I would imagine most of us recognize the first part and can buy in. But let’s look at the whole thought. We are to trust in the Lord with all of our hearts. Easier said than done, right? Along with that, we need to acknowledge him. We need to keep our minds and hearts on the Lord. Give him both. When both are resolutely on him, we have closed the majority of the roads that let the devil and his doubt get to us. Jesus himself reminds us of the might of faith when he was in the boat with Peter. When Peter hesitated and began to sink, Jesus said, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matt. 14:31). Peter could have walked on water if he had faith. Let me repeat that: Peter could have walked on water. My marathon, my MRI, those things are a piece of cake for our God if we just let go of the doubt.

This sounds like it should be easy. As illustrated above, I totally get that it isn’t easy at all. Faith is easy to proclaim and difficult to believe, especially when it comes to things that we know we, as the humans we are, aren’t capable of. That demands true, unwavering faith. That requires us to actually give up control of something and (here’s the hard part) acknowledge that we WILL fail at this if the Lord doesn’t do it for us. That’s hard. That’s nearly impossible. But I remind you (and myself) that all things are possible through Christ.

The last part of giving doubt the proverbial boot it deserves is encouraging others. Doubt is probably one of the areas of our lives in which we can relate with others on a mighty level. Scripture does give us direction for aiding others who are being stifled by doubt.  In the book of Jude, we’re told to “Have mercy on those who doubt” (1:22). We can show true faith by showing kindness to others when theirs is wavering. 

Doubt will always creep into our minds. Whether we are worried about a new job, our parenting styles, a marathon, or our faith in general, concerns and questions will make their way to the forefront of our thoughts. But the Bible never tells us to give credence to our doubts. The Bible tells us to proceed with faith and let the Lord handle the rest.

Recommended Song: Help Is On The Way (Maybe Midnight) by Toby Mac